C4bl3Fl4m3's picture
About Me

In short: I'm a geek (duh) of human sexuality and tech and food/cuisine and public transit (to a lesser extent classical music, musicals, and aquatic entomology) and who's non-monogamous, kinky and just generally weird. I'm also a life-long fangirl (my last fandoms were Doctor Who and Scott Pilgrim, and I'll always love Star Trek). I love participating in performance arts, video games, writing, and role play. I'm bouncy and extroverted and I say what I think. I used to play WoW & SL & TF2 and, with a better computer, could be convinced to do it again.

C4bl3Fl4m3
29
Takoma Park
Maryland
United States
Female
Either
Relationship
Date

Personality: Bubbly. Extroverted. Prone to bouts of depression, though.
 
Sense of humor: Silly humor. Geeky humor. Sex humor. A little toilet humor. Slapstick. I'm not much for mean humor. Dry, snarky humor turns me off when you use too much of it (and some geeks use WAY too much). I'm not big on sarcasm, as my parents weren't sarcastic at ALL and so I didn't grow up with it and so my sarcasm meter is WAY broke. And I'm not really into a lot of British humor. (I get it, I just don't think it's FUNNY.)
 
Temper / Tolerance level: People have described me as the most tolerant person they've ever met. That one is mostly accurate, except for one big flaw. I hate intolerant people. I LOATH stupid people (especially when they're in charge). Fundamentalism of whatever type drives me CRAZY. I won't lie to you, I'm a person who feels things deeply and could be described as "moody".
 
Weaknesses: I have little to no long term ambition. (And no, it's not because of 420. It's from the humiliation of defeat and from being burned too much.) I'm also not too much of an optimist. One of the main Principles of the Unitarian Universalists is "the inherent worth and dignity of every person". I need to work on that re: stupid people.
 
Special Certificates or Abilities: CompTIA A+, Network+. MOUS Word 2000, PowerPoint 2000, Access 2000. CPR/FA/AED. DM (dungeon monitor... think safety guard for a kink party). Abilities? I can teach people about sexuality. From a one-on-one session to standing in front of more than 350 hackers. I love doing it and I'm good at it. Some people say I'm compassionate and quite empathetic. No abilities like from out of Heroes, though. ;-)
 
Degrees: I think the higher education system is highly overrated, after seeing the lack of knowledge and stupidity that many degree holders have. Degrees don't impress me (too) much. (However, being a Doctor of whatever type is sexy.)
 
Even though I'm a liberal, a Skeptic by nature, and my spiritual path is a diverse one, my values are very important to me. Those values include honesty, love, celebration of diversity, justice, freedom, fully owning one's own body and truth. So little do us lefties talk about our 'family values' but we do have them... they're just different.

Ethnicity: White (Caucasian). Eastern European on Dad's side, Western European on Mom's side.
Body Type: Fat & Curvy
Height: 5'1"
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Red or Technicolor (prefer bright red but have been every single color of the rainbow at times)
Glasses: Yes!
Piercings: ears (gauged to a 4), nostril. Considering a septum and/or tragus piercing.

Some College

Schools Attended: Formally? Capitol College. Informally? UMCP.

I'm currently trying to make it as an adult sexual educator. I work for myself, and teach at conferences and for altsex groups about kink, fetishes, sexual orientation and gender identity.
 
My last job, I worked for a Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender bookstore. I was the office "Jack of All Trades". I handled our entire web presence (including content creation/writing), almost all of our graphic design, all of our tech work, and the occasional shift on the sales floor as a bookseller. I'd like to be a Genius for Apple someday. I may also enjoy working in a high end tea store.

Lambda Rising GLBT bookstore. Beyond that, I'm kinda private about it. Also, I don't know if I remember them all. I did a LOT of contract work back in the day.

Family Life: I'm an only child, from a upper low class family from the middle of the woods in Pennsylvania. My cultural heritage is: British Isles + a little German on my mom's side, Russian & Polish on my dad's. I was raised with a good sense of my heritage (I did Eastern European folk dancing for 10 years) as well as knowledge of the flora and fauna around me. My father being a professional fly fishing instructor and amateur conservationist, he taught me fishing, hunting, marksmanship, archery, ecology and respect for the Earth. (He also was my greatest musical influence.) On Mom's side, the women are excellent fiber artisans, and so I learned spinning, weaving, carding wool, sewing, knitting, dying and other arts. (I still knit a bit today.) We're not one of those big extended families where everyone sees everyone all the time or where you all grow up together. I only saw my extended family sometimes. Hell, some of them I only see at funerals and weddings.

Hobbies and Interests: Not enough room. SRLSY. In extremely short: Cooking, Transit, Gaming (video, card and some board), general geekery, kink/sex/bdsm/fetishes, travel.
 
Places I've Traveled to: I have a map of that up somewhere. In short, all up and down the eastern seaboard of the US, some of the midwest, Colorado, Seattle, Canada (Live in Toronto for 2 years, visited Ottawa 2x & Nova Scotia 1x), France (Paris, Metz, Nancy), Germany (Baden-Baden and Berlin), Poland
 
Like to go? Mexico, Montreal, Edmonton, Vancouver, Texas, California (esp. San Francisco), Seattle (yes, again!), Paris (again! I didn't get to see much the first time), London, the UK in general, Hawaii

Ideal Date: I don't know if I have one. Dinner someplace amazing (doesn't have to be pricey), good geeky conversation. Bars are ok, as long as I'm going with someone else. Dancing can be fun. Movies... eh, I'm not big on 'em. Sports game? Not really. (Hockey's not bad.) Some kind of workshop? Awesome. Museums, great. The symphony/a play/a musical? Rockin! A concert? Depends on the band. A LARP? That would be cool. A foodie dinner/tasting of unique or bizarre foods? WIN! Well, if we're talking all time ultimate dream date, dinner some place amazing that I could never afford to get into, or perhaps take me traveling somewhere I can't afford to go. (If you take me to London or San Francisco, you win.)
 
Social Circle / Friends: Diverse. I don't really have a single social circle... rather, I have a few friends from each of the scenes I'm in. I have kink friends, hacker friends, Radical Faerie friends, friends I made back when I was into social activism. There's a common thread of "geek" there, though.
 
What you do for Fun: Geek out. Duh. I mean, what do YOU do?
 
Looking for in a Relationship: You're at the point in your life where you're ready to commit to working on a long term, live-in relationship. You're not JUST a geek. You have other outside interests, as I do. Having geek and geek only in common isn't enough. You need to be a few sigmas out on the bell curve for more reasons than one. Someone who can actually handle (preferably thrives on) being non-monogamous. Someone with experience in this is great, but I understand that many people don't have experience... I was in that boat too at one point. Someone who doesn't mind/likes kinkyness in bed. At the very least, you need to like/not mind role play in bed. I'm a geek, and it carries over into the bedroom in terms of the way I like to play in the sack. Liking costuming w/ your role play is even better. I am a kinky little thing and I need my kink to be happy. You don't mind truly STRANGE people. Or you really like quirky short chubby girls who are bubbly and bright and speak their minds, who need alot of cuddles and touch and who are very open about their sexuality. You SHOULDN'T contact me if... you're not smart. I can't stand stupid people... really. I really am an intellectual elitist, and I can smell out stupidity like you wouldn't believe. You shouldn't contact me if you don't live in the Washington DC area. I already have 1 long distance relationship when I initially swore I was never going to have one again (but I can't tell my heart who to fall in love with, ya know?)... I really don't want another long distance thing. You also shouldn't message me if you're avidly pro-military (I'm anti-military) or if you're a man who thinks you're God's gift to female kind (ESPECIALLY if you think such because you're buff). Oh, and if you don't know the difference between your and you're (or if you type "ur"), don't even bother. I like people who use proper punctuation, spelling, grammar, and capitalization. If you don't, you come off like an idiot. And you already know how I feel about idiots.

The older I get, the more tolerant I seem to be getting (and the more I see intolerance around me on all ends of the spectrum). And that's tolerant of EVERYONE, including those that I oppose politically. I believe everyone's entitled to their own religious beliefs, political beliefs, and other beliefs and no one else has a right to tell them different. You might be a far right winged Religious Right Christian... and that's fine for you to believe as you do. Just don't force your beliefs on me. Also, the older I get, the more I'm thinking the answers to life/happiness/whatever lie somewhere in the middle instead of the extremes. Which is an interesting realization for someone who's so naturally an outlier. I like getting older... I'm getting wiser which is making life easier. I'm totally looking forward to turning 30.
 
Favorite Things: sexuality, fetishes, kink, Scott Pilgrim, travel, Toronto, trying new foods, role play, good stimulating discussion, spirituality, comics, typography, mass transit, subways, swimming, Team Fortress, Star Trek: Voyager, OS X/Macs, Free Software/Open Source Software/Creative Commons/Copylefting, queer theory, gender theory, feminism, sex in character and/or in costumes, genderfun, SecondLife, being a fangirl, singing, harmony, DDR, Katamari Damacy, EarthBound (my favorite game!), Unitarian Universalism, Judaism, Catholicism, Paganism, Radical Faeries, LOLCATS, Romanticism

Drinking: I drink socially

Eating Habits: I'll eat just about anything. I keep ovo-lacto vegetarian 1x a week. I currently have a gallstone so I have to have a low-fat diet currently (or I'm in a world of discomfort).
I love international cusine. Favorites are Thai, Vietnamese, Korean, Indian & Ethiopian. I'm a foodie.

Not really for me. Every now and then is fine for others, but regular use is probably a bad idea.

My Fashion is: Eclectic. I've got funky, Second Hand, Vintage, hippy, goth, and hipster geek clothes in my collection. Oh, and the costumery and the fetish wear, too.

Fitness Level: Starting to get back in shape. I like all the exercise gadgets available these days. I've been walking with my Nike+ sensor and my iPod Touch and I got a Jawbone UP (which bricked, so I'm getting a new one).

Hygiene is good. I'm a little lax in some areas, but try not to stink.

Children: I don't have any. I'm pretty sure I don't want any on a long term, "they're mine" basis but I wouldn't mind having some on a "taking care of the nephew" or "we have the kids this weekend" basis.

I like Dogs, Fish, & Rodents. My ex had birds and they're not the pet for me in many ways but I'd be willing to live with someone who had them again if they cleaned up after them better and the birds were better trained.

Political Party: Democratic
Political Leanings (Fiscal): Left of Center
Political Leanings (Social): Left of Center
Political Leanings (Domestic): Left of Center
Political Leanings (Global): Left of Center
 
Politically, I'm on the left side of things, but I'm quite nuanced. I'm a lower-case-S-socialistic progressive liberal Democrat who cares enough about personal liberties & freedoms that I lean libertarian occasionally, but never about things like social programs. (To me, putting personal liberties and freedoms first IS liberal, but apparently a lot of liberals don't agree with this. *shrug*) I used to be one of those really politically active far-left liberals (I have the button collection to prove it. ;-) ), but then I burnt out bad and never really got completely back into it again. I agree with a number of radical liberal teachings, but I also think they go way too far at times. (Policing language? It's really not going to make the world a better place and instead will just have a chilling/silencing effect where they'll be afraid to say anything, and the idea of censorship from the left scares me as much as the idea of censorship from the right. Better to share left politics and let people come to their own conclusions on what words to use. Also better to work on the bigger issues at hand [people who want you dead/imprisoned] instead of chastising your own people for using the wrong words.) I've put before that I'm proud to shake my head at the Right, but saddened when I feel the need to do it at the Left, at my own people. I think that sums things up nicely. Frankly, though, I hate talking politics & I hate politics in general. I'm no good at figuring out when people are lying (which is the entire gist of politics) and caring so hard but not being able to make enough of a difference is really bad for my mental health, so I've had to step away. Also, I think a person's politics needs to be tempered by ethics/morals. (I'm not telling you WHICH ethics you need to have... that's up to you, but they need to be important to you and informing.) If you think that a person's politics can make them a bad person, or if you think they can replace ethics, we're probably not going to get along. (For example: radical politics talks about the uprising of the oppressed, but it never once states that it's not ok to hurt individuals within the oppressor on your way up. I think that's wrong & it's where ethics need to temper politics. Rise up w/o hurting anyone.)

Religion / Spirituality: Inter-Denominational
 
Spiritually? Technically I'm an Agnostic Spiritual Humanist Unitarian Universalist. I lean atheist (or, maybe more accurately, I lean quite far away from the "woo" end of the spectrum... I don't "believe" in anything... I think it all has scientific explanations often times dealing with the way the brain works [or simply doesn't exist] but that shouldn't lessen the awesome). All that being said, I was raised Roman Catholic, and I still really enjoy its trappings, even if I don't believe its dogma. I have a deep seated need for familiar (that's important) religious ritual. My spiritual path has encompassed many religious at various times. I was big into liberal Judaism previously (I still like their "question everything" approach to religion & their idea of tikkun olam [only I apply it to all of humanity]); I kinda feel like I'm "called" (which is interesting considering I don't believe in anything that could do the "calling") to reconcile the messages from Roman Catholicism & my personal, far more liberal & agnostic beliefs; and recently Islam has caught my interest.

Smoking: I quit. Go me!

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ZOMG STEAMPUNK
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Me in March 2008
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